BLAST!

To silly someone:

What is this?
What is THIS?
WHAT is THIS?
WHAT IS THIS?!
[I'm influenced by dear friend]

Do you still believe and think...
That the same reason why I was angry?
Just because of you?
Only you?

Why?
Why??
WHY?
WHY??!!

Nobody believes if I wanted to do actually.
Nobody....
That makes me feel extremely sad.
Angry too.
Thorn in my heart...
But I realized there is still a person...
Oh yes, two persons...
Who went through the similar to me...
When I got to know,
My heart is really up...
Because...
I know I'm not alone.
And I'm reminded that there are still Amightly...
God and Jesus Christ
Who understand me atmost.
But...
I really can't help it
To think that I'm alone.

Oh Almightly God and Jesus Christ...

Now...
Serious...
Seriously...
Although I used to dislike to admit it myself...
I admitted it.
I admitted it that I made a lot of stupid mistakes.
I committed sins.
Seriously, I COMMITTED SINS.
But truly,I do have own reasons
which...
you won't able to guess it
although it may sounds stupid.

To someone: I'm sorry for bottling it in myself again so I guess I broke "promise"?

But after I went through the latest camp,
I realized..
Just realized...!
I learnt a lot of new things.
Too late even though I'm told that I'm wrong.
It's just i refused to believe it.
I am trying to be myself...
But...
It is extremely difficult...
Always forgetful...
Became SUPER SHORT-TERM MEMORY girl.
I really don't want it...
But I will say it...
IT'S NOT TOO LATE!

You know...
You kept saying that age is important
so we ought to respect you
Cannot yell at you
Must SMS you to know that we have reached home.
And you used "care" as excuses
in order to make us to do it...
If Caroline's words,
You understood illiberately.
I don't know how I can explain.

But you also took my feelings/emotions and thinkings
ILLIBERATELY.

Ya ya ya...
Like I said earlier,
You won't believe what I wanted to do actually.
Always stick to same thing as you thought...
I cannot help it but to keep quiet.

Since you want to quit everything,
Let me ask you.
Can you bear to leave them
whom have done for you everything?
They have done their best to help you a lot...

And yes, you was scolded by me before.
Because you refused to leave,
didn't know that the problem can be worsened
By staying there.
Not respecting my request...
Well I supposed not to bring it up
but now, I don't know how I can explain.
If i tell you,
will you understand?
If you say you will try your best to understand,
I doubt it because you won't just like the past.

Lalalala,
Come to the point...
I'm here to ask you not to QUIT
if the reason is me.
I know my saying won't change your mind.
But can you bear to leave?

Lalalala,
You complained about me,
most of the time, I didn't say I wanted to quit.
I complained a little,
and you wanted to quit like that?
What is this?
WHAT IS THIS?!?!
No wonder,
dear friends call you silly.
Don't you get it why you are called
"Silly"?

Lalalala,
ya ya ya,
I am also called silly too.
Because my reasons are very stupid always.
So have you understood better
from reading XueHui's email?
She is not siding with me
nor with you.
She is just making her facts from what she has learnt.
Given with your "characters" and "thinkings",
I agreed with her some.
Still, she don't have to talk much about her family
about experiences.

So if you really want to quit,
You can although it is too last minute.
But I shall live in SINS with ALL THE REST OF MY LIFE.
Because of me...
I can't help it.
Nobody is perfect.

Lalalala,
whatever you spoke to me,
ya ya ya
I was sort angry.
I spoke back to you.
I'm sure how do you feel when you hear it.
If not, I guess too bad...
But people claimed it is not rude type.
I guess POV from us are different.

But for now,
don't QUIT
if the reason is me.
As for me,the reason is not you only but someone.
Don't forget the things I did with you together during the camp...
Otherwise,why did i do that if I don't like to be with you??!!

---------------------

So now, make your decision asap.
I don't wish to say any further lest you might feel worsen emotions.
Or maybe, misunderstanding.
But...
We need to practice together
as a teamwork.
The deadline is coming very soon.
QUICK.
Well,take your time.
Lalalala,
*waiting*
Ps: [Sorry for a long ones here]