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Me, Myself & I 
yukiiWe should cherish those times which we have spent. In a hectic city, we must press on and continue our footpaths while overcoming all the obstacles together. Friendship is not for us to take for granted. randoms! |
More than words |
| Let's cherish them! |
More than BLAST Randoms
more than words
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008
*puff puff* My results for EOY ... Seem badly than the targeted marks which I aimed. Fortunately,my maths is good but the difference between MYE and EOY is 0.5 mark. Well, I am satisfied with all these subjects except English. Thanks to God, I managed to pass English. I don't know why I scored lousy marks for English. Perhaps, my friend is right. She insulted me by saying that my English is worst. (Actually she apologised me already.) I guess i have to accept the fact. Alright, my ENGLISH IS WORST THAN THE KIDS. Anyway, when I reached home, I felt upset over my results. I do not know why. I guess I was affected by the marks. Very well,since the exams are over, I ought to enjoy myself and be more happier than before~!But but ... I really scared being with my friends... Be my classmates,HI friends and adults friends especially my close friends ones, I am afraid. I really don't know... I guess I sense some of my close friends didn't want to be with me but each other. Oh very well, I shouldn't make up any weird ideas. I just didnt hear from them. Sorry for worrying or dismaying (or etc) you if you are. They didn't talk to me since that day. They must be enjoying themselves. Ahh, why am I so envious? Crazy me. Being envious would not good to me. Anyway I didn't sort out myself for past a few days... Because, I was so tired and feeling sleepy. Also,was interested in watching drama shows. Also,I was hooked with the Rukubi cube. Heh, currently trying to learn how to solve myself. Some of my classmates managed to solve it. *AWE* Sometimes, I asked one of them to teach me. Heh. He is nice and funny person. (: This morning, my HI schoolmate was upset. I tried to comfort her. She understood it at least. She felt much better even though I know she is still upset. At least, cheer up! Dear friend, don't be upset. Do pray to God for help and advices and also pray for that person. Try not to be great upset just because of that. I am sure everyone didn't want you to be upset especially that person. Anyway I am glad I can help you at least. (: Thank you for giving me a chance to talk it out with you. *sigh* Her problems reflected to me from the past which was similar. Pain... Miserable... I also feel want to cry. Between,I cried twice in one - last 2 Sundays during the EOY. It really affected me so much that I didn't do examinations well for all. No matter how hard I tried not to let it affect me,it didn't work. I was affected with too many problems actually. I almost cannot deal with them till as the day went,I was lesser affected than before. Therefore, I became worried sometimes. That is why I didn't do EOY well. Oh crap,since that time I cried so hard that my eyes were already puffed the next morning. What did I do? My head was hanging down. Bow down most of the time till my neck hurt. After Literature exam,my eyes were much better when i checked with mirror. Now now,I should not look backward since it was over. No point to grief over it. But, how can i relax? Hmm, I am looking forward this sat! (: Maybe I can relax there and be mute. Aww, I feel don't want to face to one of my close friend. Somehow, I sense she ... She... Oh well, I don't how to describe. If I say, you may not understand the reasons... Anyway another close friend... She always think that her life is really messing. To me, I don't think so. In fact, she is lucky girl. She just don't know how lucky she is. I will not say the reasons and explanations here because.... Obvious? I don't know. I know both of them are not reading my blog but to comment my tagboard. I guess so... Oh yes... cHar,I think you don't have to sort out in your mind now. Don't force yourself just because of what I had said. Perhaps it is not time yet for you to sort it out. Do you know why I said that? Because I can see it affected you so much but all you can is to bottle in yourself. Most of the time, you was upset so I tried my best to cheer you up. Oh well,sorry for that. Hmm,your blog - "I'm really thankful for this one person who was willing to hear me out... Now i feel more calm." I suggest you ought to get well along and chat more with that person. So soon or later,you will feel much better. You don't have to be with me all the time if you always feel offended by me sometimes. I know I must have said in not nice words. Because I don't know how to put it. Hmmm,it seems that all these 4 days, I have been lonely. This feeling is really awful but sometimes was glad. YOU SHOULD NOT FOLLOW MY FOOTSTEPS! However, I have to continue it for sometime. I deserved to be with nobody. Waah, yesterday was a tough day. I had CIP after school. Kept cutting the bottles and made it look like "bananas" lol! *laughs* So many bottles sian but was so lonely. Fortunately,2 or 3 friends of mine helped. Thanks and credits to them! Otherwise,during 2 hours, I might not able to do anything but trying to cut A bottle myself. It was hard to cut the bottom of the bottle before you made it "banana". CIP lasted for 2 hours. First time to have CIP. (=.=) Then i got a blister of my finger(or 2? I think I saw very small blister) from cutting. Thanks to my beloved grandma, she pierced my blister by the needle and let the plasma to flow out. No more big blister!! But I got another big blister from writing. Didn't pierce it since it had been hardened.Oh ya, the previous entry which I stated that I have a lot of things to say... Since when I visited Joyce's late grandpa's wake,I was struggling. I recalled a few months ago. My grandma's sister had passed away. It was ACTUALLY DISBELIEVABLE to me when I visited her wake. REALLY DISBELIEVABLE to see...! My grandma told me that she had a pain chest that she vomited blood before she died. I guess so. Oops, I shall not say any further because I think it is not necessary for me to tell you how since I was not asked. My grandma kept sobbing. When I kept looking at my grandma's sister face picture for a long time, I somehow sensed that she was actually alive. But it was beyond just my imagination. My silly imagination... We were not so close now when I grew up. On Joyce's late grandpa's wake, she had a big wake. Mine is not so big. Joyce and her parents had to wear white shirts and long pants to do their duties. Mine, I didn't. Weird, yeah? Anyway during Joyce's time, EOY was over while mine was not. Had to study for common tests... Tiring that time. Friends came to pay respect for her grandpa while no friend respects for my grandma's sister. Well, it is okay since I didn't invite them. Sorry I didn't mean to compare but feel wanting to say it to myself. So after hearing from Yong Yee the reasons she couldn't celebrate CNY at home. I guess I also cannot celebrate some events for this year and next year? I think it should be even though I was not informed. Just now I heard she had to wear dark or white or dull plain clothes? I didn't know anyway. Anyway, Joyceee. Have to wear and do all these since his death... Doesn't mean you have to obey him in heaven. It is actually according to Chinese traditions not obeying. I heard it from Yong Yee. If you think it does not make sense or don't think so or I am wrong, do correct me. You can choose any religion when you are 21 years old. During your age, you have to follow your parents first but you can continue to do what you want to unless they respect your decision. That was what my mother said. She respected my decision unlike my father and grandma. So I still have to follow my father and grandma but continue to do what I wanted to do. (If Joyce doesn't read this, it is ok) Oh yea, sorry friends if I was slow-responsed to you. I just wanted to think carefully and sometimes was distracted till I make a decision before I replied. Heh, do forgive me for that. Sometimes I can be rash. :p Now, I didn't hear any from two of my close friends. Well, I guess they are enjoying themselves and even got same style of blogs but different colours. OoOh, Satan-envious? Oh Satan, why must you put more forceful than usual in my mind? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Are you disappointed at least just because of what did I wrote the 2 previous entries? Oh Satan, why must you put more forceful than usual in my mind? Oh Satan, oh Satan... Trying to poison which is more powerful than usual in my mind? Poison... Poison... Why is it so good to poison in people's mind? Oh Satan, oh Satan... Waiting for your opportunties to put evil thoughts in our mind while weakening our strengths and weaknesses? You are the root of all the evil problems that cause everyone including myself to be like that. You are liar who lied people,making them think negatives and all those stupid and silly thoughts. Very good acting, yeah? Oh Satan, oh Satan... Oh Satan, oh Satan... Don't ever think that some people loves to say "Satan". Not me , pleasee. (Don't be misunderstanding.) I want to ask God... Sorry to say but I would like to ask... Why must all these happenings to me?!! Is it retribution?! All I must is to PAY BACK to what I have done?! But I repented it but sometimes I know I admit I couldn't control my emotions. Since this is what You wanted me to do according to Your plannings, I shall accept this fact. I shall face it alone. Don't let others come across to my path because I didn't want to trouble them as well as I do not know what to do with them. I'm really scared of them too. I feel wanting to cry but not now. Because I did not want my eyes to be swollen tomorrow. :X Hmm, I shall not say any further yet. I do not want to worry to those concerned friends too much. Oops, it is late now. I shall stop here. Dear Mightly Father, I pray for my HI schoolmate to feel better. Do guide her along well while she is in relationship. I pray for another HI schoolmate to feel better too. Do guide him along well while he is in relationship too. Do let them overcome the Satan's tricks. I pray for my mother to feel better than before as the day goes. Give her happiness and bless at least. I pray for Joyceee to feel much better. Do guide her along well and give her advices, wisdoms and bless. I pray for cHar to feel much better too. Do guide her along well, give her advices and bless her too. I pray for Juliana's husband to recover slowly otherwise... Do give him your strengths and bless. I pray for myself to continue to think positive often and feel blessed by you. Control my emotions well. Do guide me along well and give me your wisdoms. I pray for CD not to feel so emo. Do guide him along well, bless him and give him your wisdoms. I pray for my JIEJIE and everyone to do well for 'O' level tomorrow. I thank you for your wisdoms,strengths,advices,mercy and kindness ! In the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!! Goodnight and have a tight sleep! |
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